The Karvol incident

Today while I was giving my eldest Calpol cos she has a fever, youngest tries out a Karvol capsule.  As I am giving daughter a hug and settling her back in bed I hear gagging/coughing from the other room. I run in and find Edward coughing and drooling and holding a slightly dented Karvol capsule in his hand.  I rush him to the sink to get him to spit and throw the capsule in the bin. I brush his teeth so he'll spit some more and then give him a drink then I read the empty packet (which I know only had one in there) and it says if swallowed seek medical attention immediately.  I call NHS Direct who respond very quickly and despite the fact that the lines are busy they call back within 5 minutes. So that's not great.  And the symptoms I have to look for are not good either, but I feel relaxed as much as you can in such a circumstance, because he doesn't have any symptoms once I have made him spit out  but then they say he has to be observed for 4 to 6 hours and then if nothing has occurred I can breathe again and not have to rush him to A&E. The nurse on the phone gave me a sensible lecture on keeping medicines safely which is fair enough.  But he is so different to his sister. She would have had no interest in looking into a cupboard or climbing up to try something like that. I'm not sure that unless its locked I can keep him out of everything.  She said that her sister had a merry dance (exact quote) with her daughter who was in and out of A&E including when she drank bleach as a small child - eeek   Loo Cleaner too??! Oh my word.  Some children require a whole lot more PPE than others.  So I have to blog that post parenting course the progress made depends on having a well stimulated child who does not have to compete for attention.  I'm not sure that there is a course that actually faces the reality that you don't just deal with one child at a time.  

Parents who bunk off the parenting course

I am not very proud of this but, pretty much like when I was in school, I didn't do the homework. At school I would tend to calculate which homework was significant and do that to make the grade but not more than that. Its a strategy which has served me very well in school and in life. I am excellent with deadlines. I am hopeless with a lack of pressure to achieve.

You can't really do that with parenting, whether or not you assimilate all the handouts the children are still giving you marks out of ten with their behaviour or appearance of contentment or otherwise. There are no deadlines, except that they do seem to be ahead of where you thought they were five minutes ago. Just held up every pair of my daughter's pjs to find one pair that would not be embarrassingly short at school residential trip next week.  Exactly when did she grow?? I so seldom need to get her new stuff why did she grow now??

 The idea was to use half term to bond with the children in designing a specific issue reward chart for each of them and decorate it lovingly and include at a centre a picture of the child's self selected treat.  We all talked about this - the treat would be a farm visit and Aslana had great ideas about a chart that looked like space five stars to get a planet, two planets for the sun level star prize with lift the flap final prize under the sun. Since then I have been telling her I would have put that on the chart and so at some arbitrary point I will have to deliver the reward.  The tangibility is missing and I think Webster Stratton will expel me for this travesty of her technique. I am pretty useless really.

However in my defence I have to say the whole week was ruined by house hunting and school researching and trying to get organised in clearing out our garage and packing and generally dealing with the shake of the carpet under our feet. Tried still to make half term special. Aslana really enjoyed her pony care day and we all still had some fun here and there but it wasn't really that great. Probably should have had our chart project on the go.

 I'll catch up on the reading instead because I also missed the session today and I think, realistically am not going to make it to graduation, so from here on you may feel rather disappointed. I will get the book so that the blog can legitimately continue but I really can't see the course doing much good while I resent it for stealing time from finding a home and preparing for the move.

Anyway. like I said will try and keep to the themes of the course.  Thanks for the posts by the way - really wonderful support. Have tried couple of suggestions.  Where I have said to Edward "I like it when you . . ." it hasn't helped.  Am now experimenting with another suggestion "Parents or grown ups like it when children hold hands by a road" also a bit fruitless. Today opted for shameless blackmail.  Edward and I went to the newsagents by Aslana's school. "If you hold my hand by the road every time we are out this week I will get you a new magazine on friday" Now I suspect you are shaking your head at my meanness. But my hand was gripped very tightly as we went round the corner . . . it didn't last but he does seem to have a better concept of time than I expect. Last week Edward asked when he would see his friend from the childminders.  I told him Next Week on Tuesday. Tuesday came and as I do every morning I told him what I planned to do (following up from the night before where we say thanks to God for the day just gone and talk about what will happen in the morning after sleep) I said you will see your friend (name) today at Becky's to which he responded see (name) next week! Tuesday!

None of that has anything to do with parenting course. That's just showing off cos I am so proud of him. Sorry about that, but its nice to be proud after all the battles of a few weeks ago. Feeling much happier today think we may have a solution to the housing problem. And here's some more random showing off, my eldest is writing hundreds of words a week in stories and letters to friends.  Just suddenly took off with it because of the 500 words competion on BBC Radio 2 which closed this week.  She finished her entry the night before the deadline. She gets that from her mother you know.

Coda

I can't close this blog without recommending that if you feel at the end of your tether in terms of parenting you do reach out.  Join a parenting course - Webster Stratton though looking very dated and American has some good stuff to offer, but the main thing any parenting course offers is the combined blessings of an hour without the children to stop and think and breathe and be a grown up with grown ups (role play not withstanding!) and you have the chance to make friends with others who are in the same position and who have also dared to reach out.  You won't be judged or rejected (assuming you are a normal parent who just needs some guidance and support) and mistakes are not as we would sometimes believe the end of the world for our family, just a sign we need help along the way.  I have made friends on this course that I hope will be lifelong friends and our children are turning out okand on their off days and ours we know there are at least 5 other people out there who will take our call and who will understand and none of them is any less of a friend for how we met. So whether you choose this course or another, if you are struggling do go to your children's centre, your health visitor, your GP or your church and ask what support they can offer for parents. Call parent line or seek support from Netmums but the best thing by far is to talk with parents in the same boat who did not stay there but sought help.